How Not to Sabotage Your Sleep Training Efforts

shows white panel bedroom suite with stripped red bed covers and a teddy bear, plus matching trundle bed

A bed that your child will be comfortable moving to, but that will last many years and be comfortable for you to sit or lie on too, is a great choice, when it's time for your child to move to a room of her own.

When it comes to sleeping arrangement for an infant or a toddler, there are generally two camps: those who prefer to have their baby sleep in the crib or a cradle and those who opt to have a superkingsize mattress for a family bed. Both sides have good reasons for deciding one way or another– convenience, safety, closer bonding, etc. And yet, there comes a time when every parent gets to ask: when does a baby sleep in a youth bed?

Parenting authorities and publications may have various opinions on this, but the bottomline is that each family is different. For instance, some may decide to move the baby to his or her own bed right after weaning from breastfeeding. Others may wait until the child has become agile enough to be able to get in and out of bed on his own. Still others may decide to just preserve the status quo until the child simply grows too big to sleep with the parents, or when another sibling is in the way.

Note that there are certain cultures in which co-sleeping is the norm rather than the exception.

There are various means to success when training your child to sleep on his or her own bed. Much like other milestones such as toilet training, walking or talking, children reach the right level of readiness at different times. Be prepared to be very patient and understanding during the process; some firmness is of course essential, but never be punitive or belittling.

We compiled some tips from veteran parents who have (give or take a learning experience or two) successfully navigated the pitfalls of sleep training:

child sleeping peacefully in a single/twin bed with bright blue bedrails on both sides

Bed rails can help keep your child safe when he first moves to his own bed (and also provide something for you to lean against if you're lying in their with him sometimes!)

  • Prepare your child for the eventuality of sleeping alone on his or her own bed way ahead of time. If time allows, do this months in advance, so that your child understands that it is a necessary and inevitable process rather than something you just arbitrarily decided. You can even make it an exciting event by picking out a new bed and then saving up for it together – carefully timing it so that you just happen to have enough when you think he or she is ready to start sleeping solo.
  • If you are not getting a new bed, you can do the same process with the bed linens, the pillows, or a cool night light, really just about anything that makes it more of an accomplishment. That way, your child will see the event as a challenge rather than something to be dreaded.
  • Once your child has started to sleep in his or her own bed, discourage regression. For instance, if your child is sick and needs extra cuddling and attention during the night, sleep in your child’s bed rather than letting him or her back in your marital bed. Doing the latter will just make it harder and more confusing. This is one good reason to opt for a full-size double mattress and bed frame if your child’s bedroom can accommodate it, rather than an easily-outgrown cot.

 

  1 comment for “How Not to Sabotage Your Sleep Training Efforts

  1. Katy
    June 20, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    I have to say, I could almost have written this post myself, this is so similar to the way we worked with my first child to move him into his own bed. Although we never had a king size mattress, that would have been nice.

    He moved onto his own king mattress next to our bed and 15 months, but from a relatively early age he knew that the room his clohes and change table were in would eventually be his, and then one day, at about 26 months, he decided he wanted to sleep there. so then we went out and choose a (double) bed with him and a quilt cover, and when they arrived he moved in and never looked back!

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